My Naughty Little Secret

A little while back I was roaming around the internet and I came across a site where you could meet people who share the same interests. It caught my attention and I joined. Now before you judge me, just wait and hear me out. I LOVE MY DADDY....I don't know what gets into me, I just get carried away sometimes. I would NEVER cheat on Him. I do like the idea of being disciplined by someone else, but only if My Daddy approved and watched. I intended on just browsing around, but the temptation was strong when I came across a man who really seemed to *GET* me. The more I talked with this man the stronger the temptation became. I was truthful with my new interest, I told him I am married and I adore my husband and wouldn't do anything without getting His permission. I didn't want sex with this person and he was fully aware of that. Yet I was drawn to him while feeling also like i was totally disrespecting My Daddy. When I began to not trust my own actions, I went to The Daddy and told Him what I had done. I hated myself and needed Daddy's guidance. We talked for a long time and I was disciplined probally less severley than I deserved. Daddy made me write a letter of apology to the man and then delete out of that site and the new e-mail that i had made to converse with this person. Daddy insisted on reading all of the e-mails that I had saved before i deleted it. Daddy says one day we will live out my fantasy, but He will decide when and with whom. I love Him so much, I am not so sure that I could be so forgiving and understanding if the shoe was on the other foot. He remained calm and loving as He blistered my bottom. He says I could of got hurt or worse by my actions. Why do I think that I can handle any situation that should arise? What makes me do the things I do? Believe it or not in every day life I am a responsible person, I am the caretaker, the bill payer, the problem solver. But in our secret world i am the child who gets into trouble at every turn. I need His guidance, His Discipline, His caretaking. How do I slip in and out of these two conflicting roles so effortlessly? When I am serious and in everyday situations you would never believe that there is this whole other side of me. When I am playful and it is me and The Daddy you wouldn't believe that I am as strong and level headed as I am.
I find that to be disturbing in one way and wonderful in another......