Thursday, May 10, 2007

My Naughty Little Secret

A little while back I was roaming around the internet and I came across a site where you could meet people who share the same interests. It caught my attention and I joined. Now before you judge me, just wait and hear me out. I LOVE MY DADDY....I don't know what gets into me, I just get carried away sometimes. I would NEVER cheat on Him. I do like the idea of being disciplined by someone else, but only if My Daddy approved and watched. I intended on just browsing around, but the temptation was strong when I came across a man who really seemed to *GET* me. The more I talked with this man the stronger the temptation became. I was truthful with my new interest, I told him I am married and I adore my husband and wouldn't do anything without getting His permission. I didn't want sex with this person and he was fully aware of that. Yet I was drawn to him while feeling also like i was totally disrespecting My Daddy. When I began to not trust my own actions, I went to The Daddy and told Him what I had done. I hated myself and needed Daddy's guidance. We talked for a long time and I was disciplined probally less severley than I deserved. Daddy made me write a letter of apology to the man and then delete out of that site and the new e-mail that i had made to converse with this person. Daddy insisted on reading all of the e-mails that I had saved before i deleted it. Daddy says one day we will live out my fantasy, but He will decide when and with whom. I love Him so much, I am not so sure that I could be so forgiving and understanding if the shoe was on the other foot. He remained calm and loving as He blistered my bottom. He says I could of got hurt or worse by my actions. Why do I think that I can handle any situation that should arise? What makes me do the things I do? Believe it or not in every day life I am a responsible person, I am the caretaker, the bill payer, the problem solver. But in our secret world i am the child who gets into trouble at every turn. I need His guidance, His Discipline, His caretaking. How do I slip in and out of these two conflicting roles so effortlessly? When I am serious and in everyday situations you would never believe that there is this whole other side of me. When I am playful and it is me and The Daddy you wouldn't believe that I am as strong and level headed as I am.
I find that to be disturbing in one way and wonderful in another......

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Pouting......

I should be in bed sleeping right now, but I am just soooooo mad at The Daddy!!!!!! I HATE when he is grumpy! I know I am acting like a spoiled bratt, I know I am the one that made Him grumpy.....but...but...but....*groans* I was being bratty because He had spent time with a friend of His yeserday (too much as far as I am concerned) Well, i guess He really didn't....but i was missing Him (He did get home at 9:00pm) And He did playfully spank me as soon as we went upstairs. BUT......Oh I don't know why i get so bitchy...He came home right after work today and i was just having a major bratt attack! I was complaining, and whining,and pouting. He should of just put me over His knee and worked on my attitude, but He got ANGRY instead. *sighs* I would rather be spanked than have Him so mad a me! But He doesn't like when i intentionally Bratt for a spanking! Which I guess I was doing, but it didn't feel like it at the time. Finally He went to bed without me, which made me really angry! He did call me a little while ago, but i chose to ignore Him. (cut off my nose to spite my face) He just doesn't understand.....if we were back in N.Y. i would have my friends to go out with, but since we have moved to the country, i really don't have anyone to just hang with. Oh there are ladies from the Church that I have made friends with, but sometimes I would like to be with some friends who wouldn't be shocked about my lifestyle activities...*winks* I don't know but i don't think the sweet, church ladies would want to be talking about my favorite spanking toy or being tied to the patio railing..LOL
Well you never know, but i most certainly am not going to be the one to start the conversation!
Ahhhhh...what am i to do? I guess for now i will sneak off to bed and if The Daddy wakes up, i'll just pretend that i have no idea why He is so CRANKY. I'll snuggle up to Him and if He brings it up, i will tell Him He is crazy and He must have been dreaming! Night All......*smooches*

I'm Moving In!

I moved my stuff over here so i could continue on my journey and for those of you who might read this might get to know me a little. :) I don't know what it is but my computer works so much better over here! I can do what I want with NO WAITING!!!! Over the weekend The Daddy took me and two of our three girls to the zoo. It was a perfect day! The weather was just right, with a clear blue sky. We all had so much fun! My favorite is the petting zoo, The Daddy likes the bats (I'm not too crazy about flying furry things) The girls liked the penguins and the otters, and they had a blast at the fountains! My youngest (7 year old) fell in love with a big old sheep, she wanted to bring it home! It was a really lovable old thing and it stayed right by us wanting to be petted. My family embarrassed me...... we were getting ready to move out of the petting area and i forgot to wash my hands...*BLUSHING* My girls and The Daddy made such a big deal over it that everyone there stopped and turned around to look at me! They were smiling, but Geeeez was my face red! Here I am *The Mama* and my kids and Hubby are telling me to wash up! *cringes* To make matters worse the little one has to drag me over to the sink and then the 11 year old has to make an issue out of making sure I know how to use the soap dispenser. *HELLO* I am not an idiot, i do know how to wash my hands! Well at least i am glad everyone got a good chuckle over my forgetfulness!!!! *RASBERRIES* Okay...I am off to do some more exploring.....................................................
The Switch
The Daddy came home and ran a bath with lots of bubbles for me, (we had the house to ourselves for a couple of hours) I was kind of curious to what he was up to, I knew I had a punishment spanking coming to me and this is not how a punishment would usually start off. But Hey, who could resist a nice bubble bath? I might as well enjoy it! He called me to Him and undressed me and guided me into the tub. He told me to lay back and close my eyes. I obeyed Him (why wouldn't I?) He left the room and shut the light and I was in my own little heaven enjoying the warmth and comfort of the water and bubbles. After a while The Daddy returned and had me sit up on my knees as He washed me thoroughly. He shampooed my hair, careful not to get the soapy water in my eyes. And washed my body, not missing a spot. He had me get on my hands and knees and push up my bottom so he could soap up my little bottom hole and slide His finger deep inside, lingering there and making sure i was squeaky clean.*giggles* He reached under me and played with my clit. I wanted to cum already, but He would not let me. After a good, long cleansing, The Daddy drained the water from the tub and had me stand up so He could shower me off. He set the water at just the right temperature and proceeded to rinse the soap from my body. The Daddy had me face the shower wall and placed my hands above my head with my hands against the wall, then he spread my legs apart and told me to push my bottom out to Him. *UH-OOOOH* The next thing i FELT was the wooden bath brush burning its way into my left cheek. OMG...I knew I was in for it. He alternated between both cheeks so fast and hard that the tears started to flow almost right away. He warned me that if I moved from position I would be a very sorry young lady. Geez Daddy....How do you expect me NOT to move from position??????? I stupidly ignored His warning and threw my hands back to my searing WET, BURNING backside and tried to rub out some of the burn! I looked up at His angry face and hissed at Him *YOU ARE MEAN* Then the lecturing began...OH NO NOT THE LECTURING!!!!!!! To be quite honest at that time all I was hearing was BLAH...BLAH...BLAH... He took me by my wrist and guided me out of the tub, all the while Blah..blah..blahing away. He swatted me on the butt a few time for emphasis and then wrapped me in a towel. The words I was catching (bad behavior, attitude problem, disrespect,,etc...) was all i needed to hear to know i was in big trouble. He dried me off and sent me to the corner (nakey) to think about my actions and what was to come. I was cranky and not in the mood to co-operate, but i really didn't want to make matters worse. So there i stood, waiting...waiting....waiting...fidgeting...waiting...OH COME ON ALREADY...i don't want to think about it!!!!!!!! FINALLY...The MEAN Old Daddy returned and told me to come to Him. He warned me to get *That Look* off of my face or i was going to get it worse than i had already managed to make it. Hmphhhhh!!!!! BULLY (i thought to myself, i really didn't want to make it worse, i knew i was pushing it) I went to Him and He dressed me in just a pair of short white shorts (no panties) and a short white tee. He then slipped a pair of flip flops on my feet and told me to sit down while He brushed my hair and put it up on top of my head with a scrunchie. When He was done He pulled a chair in front of me and took my hands and told me He loved me. I was told that I earned myself a severe punishment because I had put myself and others in possible harms way, i had cost us money that we did not have to spend by behaving like a child and having a tantrum AND i was having trouble following directions and obeying, but first i was to go over His knee. My previous anger was now turning into feelings off guilt, Just HOW does He do that???????? I just looked at Him with my pouty face, but i did not fight Him, i willingly went across His lap. He left my shorts in place and He spanked my already sore bottom hard and long. He pulled me up and stood me in front of Him and told me i was to go outside and bring Him a switch....WHAT?????? i am sure i must of looked quite a site with a face wet from tears and my eyes bulginging like a scared deer!He wants me to do WHAT?????? I just stood there with an already throbbing bottom as fear raced through my body. WHAT????? A SWITCH???? He wants me to go get one?????? I was frozen in place, The Daddy never used a switch on my backside before and i was sure i didn't want Him to start now. He got up and handed me a hand clipper and pointed at the back door...*GO....NOW* I don't know how i managed to make my feet move, but i went out the back door and down the patio steps and slowly walked to the woods in our back yard. I looked over my shoulder and there He was leaning on the railing watching my every move. I am sure He was enjoying Himself. He motioned me to go on. My hands were shakey as i clipped a thin branch and brought it back to Him. He shook His head and said it would not do, Go back and pick another. Awwwwww come on...i can't do this, but i didn't want to push His buttons and have Him pick something evil! The tears were starting to flow again, how do i manage to get myself into these situations???? How can He expect me to pick something for Him to punish me with? This is just TOOO hard! *Hurry Up, stop procrastinating or I will come pick one* I reached out and grabbed another branch, thicker this time, clipped it off and brought it to Him. My eyes were lowered, i just couldn't look at Him inspecting that branch. Apparently it had His approval, because He began to clean it up and make sure there was nothing sharp to hurt me with...Oh come on, i know this is going to hurt, cleaned up or not! What is He talking about?????? I was so sorry for my actions that got me into this mess. He really didn't need to punish me any further. I tried to sell this to Him but it was not working. According to Him, i was about to be so sorry for my actions that i would never even think of behaving so carelessly again. My stomach was doing flip flops at the very thought! He bent me over the railing (our back yard is secluded) and tied my wrists to the rails. He knew i would have a hard time staying in place and He didn't want to have to start over again being this was my first meeting with the Switch. Once i was bound into place He slowly peeled down my shorts so my bottom was exposed. i felt a shiver go through me. He rubbed my already red bottom with His large hand and told me how much He loved me. He stepped back and ran the switch up and down my trembling ass cheeks, He raised the switch and i heard the swoosh as it landed on my bottom. I yelped as the first of many strikes fell upon me. i stomped my feet and promised to never, never, ever be bad again. i will be good, i WILL. The Daddy made sure i was a very sorry girl indeed. when He was satisfied that i had learned my lesson, He broke that wicked old switch in half and threw it off the patio and said He hoped to never have to punish me like that again. He untied my wrists and pulled me to Him as I cried and sobbed into His strong chest. He didn't break the skin, but my heiney had a lot of big red welts and i wasn't going to be able to sit comfortably for a while. He took me up to bed, pulled off my shorts and layed me on my belly.I sniffled * i am sorry Daddy* and He said *I know* as He rubbed the aloe cream gently onto my very sore bottom. He shut the lights and closed our bedroom door, He went and got the kids and tended to their needs and got them settled. He told them I had a headache and I needed to rest. When He locked up the house and came to bed He brought me a big bowl of *Daddys Special Icecream Sundaee* it is so yummy! He makes it with the works! And He fed me and cuddled me. Then we made the most incredible love. He was so gentle so not to cause me any more discomfort. I love Him so much. I will be good!!!!!!!!!! For a while anyway! *winks*
Oh, I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! Hubby put me over His knee this morning *sniffles* but He said *This is only a warm up spanking* WARM UP????? WARM UP?????? He spanked my bottom all morning long, I can hardly sit at my computer, and He calls that a warm up? I can't stay on long or I will be in more trouble than I already am, He just left to take the kids to their schools, we will be alone until about 10pm*shudders in antisipation* I was so humiliated, He was spanking me so hard that the spanks were echoing and I was squealing after each one landed, and all of a sudden there was a knock at the door. It was my old distric manager coming to see if I wanted to work for her again. I ran to the bathroom with my scorched bottom bared for anyone who looked in a window could see. (I HOPE SHE DIDN"T LOOK IN THE WINDOW!!!!) and we didn't go to the door, but I know she HAD to hear! I have to get back to her (she left the paper work between the screen) My face is going to be as red as my bottom! Why do i always seem to get myself into these situations????? I WILL be good...I WILL...I WILL...Daddy just laughed and said i get what i deserve! Hmmphhhh! *stomping feet* I better go...i want to hide..*shhhhhhh* the wicked bathbrush, and the hairbrush...and a few paddles...and...and...hell, i wanna hide it all...*wicked grin* Think He will notice?????
I haven't been here in a while because I have been feeling very bad and guilty. I have been avoiding the topic of spanking because I know I have been deserving a *REAL* punishment spanking and you all know how very different that is. Let me explain from the start of my dilema....I was in a severe cranky and bratty mood, I was mad at the world for various reasons. I had just gotten into an argument with my daughter and when I left the house I really should not of been driving in that state of mind. I got in the car and I was beating on it (Driving very fast and going from zero to 60 at every light and stop sign when it was my turn to go) I was driving like a nut (I really am ashamed of my behavior) I know that I put myself and others in possible danger. The next morning (my behavior from the day before completly forgotten) I get the kids ready for school, go out to the car, it starts up fine, but when I was driving it was making a weird sound almost like a lawn mower. I was thinking *Now, what is this?* I mentioned the noise to Hubby but we didn't use my car for the rest of the weekend (This happened Friday morning) Hubby didn't get a chance to look at it because we were busy. On Sunday morning we went to Church with all the kids in His car, after service the kids had Sunday School so He decided to take me home and then drive my car back to get the kids so He could see what kind of noise it was making and what exactly was going on. He was gone about 15 minutes and I get *THE PHONE CALL* the car is stuck and won't move an inch. I won't go into all that took place at that time, but Hubby was not a happy camper. Fast Forward...the car is at the shop, takes a few days for the mechanic to look at it, we go up to talk to the guy and he says the transmission is shot. He was kind of scratching his head because Hubby is telling him that the car showed no signs of having a problem at all. The mechanic tells Hubby that he can smell that the transmission is burnt up and opens the hood for Hubby to take a whiff. Then it hits me, I beat the shit out of the car the day before it happened. *MEGA CRINGE* The mechanic is kind of shrugging his shoulders and asks if we had gotten stuck in the snow or ice, that maybe we burnt it out that way. AHHHHHHHH AN OUT! I chirp in..yes,yes...I remember, that is what happened, I got stuck in the driveway and I was rocking it to get it out (shifting it into reverse and drive) *LIES>>>LIES>>>LIES* Well now it is just getting worse and worser (LOL) it is going to cost $1000 (maybe more if problems come up) to get it fixed (which we couldn't do right then) We couldn't have the dealer fix it (the warranty just ran out and we were also 500 miles over the limit) I need a car because my 2 older girls are both in plays and they both have after school rehersals Mon- Thurs in DIFFERENT schools! OYYYYYYY We ended up having two of our Church members help with the girls for two weeks. And we towed my car home until we can fix it (the dealer let us skip two payments) and we picked up an ugly mini van for me to use (Hey! can't that count as my punishment) Lets just say the things that happened because of my recklessness has inconvienced a LOT of people and caused a LOT of problems. I have lived with this guilt for just about a month now, and I have had to keep up with my charade this whole time. I feel so sick inside. so last night while Hubby was rubbing my back at bedtime I told Him I had a confession to make. As soon as I opened my BIG mouth, I wanted to change my mind. But Hubby was determined to hear my confession. The tears were streaming down my cheeks before I even got the truth out. What hurt even more was the silence and the heavy sigh that He let out. He told me He loves me even though I can be so very bad. but I will be punished because I am totally out of controll. I know full well this is not a spanking that I will like. And the not knowing when it will take place is killing me! I just want it over with and be done with all these guilt feelings. I really have to go now, I am not supposed to be on the computer right now. (will I ever learn to be good?) I will return as soon as this is over.....with tear stained face and crimson cheeks, but I will be free of all that has been tearing me apart inside........
Your Bottom is Beet (beat) Red
*Go straight up to to the bedroom and wait for me*Oh, how those words bring butterfly's to my tummy! I turned on the t.v. (mistake) and plopped down on the bed, full well knowing that i should be on my tummy with my bottom bared and waiting. The longer He took to join me the more guilty and nervous i became. i finally decided to remove my jeans, but leave my red silk panties on. After pacing around for a while i thought it would be a good idea to lie down on the bed and try to watch what ever it was that was on the t.v. *OH....This waiting just drives me CRAZY!!!* i could not focus and i thought *i really need to shut off the t.v. and be waiting like i am expected to* What is wrong with me? Why don't i do what i know He wants? Finally i hear Him coming up the stairs, He opens the bedroom door and just stands there with *THAT LOOK* shaking His head. i scramble frantically looking for the remote, fumbling like an idiot, as He continues to just stand there and wait. I HATE WHEN HE DOESN'T SPEAK....i finally manage to get that remote in hand after dropping it a number of times, and turn the television off. Now the silence is almost too much to bear. He stood His ground and waited until i removed my panties and rolled over on my belly. Needless to say, i was taking my time because i knew that i had pushed His buttons and i was in for quite a session, Now a more logical person would not of procrastinated. Me? i just don't know where my mind goes to....... when i was finally in my expected position, He took His time and went to His nightstand draw and slowly and carefully choose His tools for the occassion. *shivers* i turned back to get a peek of what was in store for my poor behind and He *GROWLED* yes, growled at me to keep my eyes forward. *gulp* When He was satisfied with His *tools* He took my baby pink scrunchie and tied my long black hair way up high on my head. i hate when He does that, i always think i look like a dark version of *Jeanie* (I Dream of Jeanie) He pinned me to the bed with His body holding my hands behind my back, He was going to make sure i stayed in place and didn't get my hands in the way. The first spank landed, OMG...there was not going to be any warming up...*owieeee* He peppered my bottom with fast HARD spanks, my breath was taken away from me. i was squirming and trying to speak and no words were coming out. The tears began to fall and He had only just begun. The more i fought Him the harder the spanks landed. i finally managed to get the words out *Daddy..wait...Wait...WAIT* He slowed for a moment and i squeeked with a sob...*You are getting the same spot* (it just hurt soooo much, my left cheek was on FIRE) He replied with a simple *GOOD* and the spanking continued. (He did finally move on to the rest of my bottom, but He kept up with that spot for what seemed like an eternity!) When i was too distraught to fight Him anymore the spanking slowed and He eventually began to rub my wounded bottom. But that is when the DREADED lecturing began! with a sharp slap thrown in here and there for good measure. i was then made to stand in the corner with my nose against the wall and hands over my head and to think about what an evil, spoiled little bratt i have been. (OH, i so had to fight the urge to stomp my foot and have a hissy fit right then and there) the whole time i was in the corner Daddy sat on the edge of the bed admiring my glowing hiney! my face was as red as my bottom! After what seemed like hours, (in reality it was more like 20 minutes) Daddy called me to Him, He kissed my forehead and assured me that He loved me and that is why He needed to be sure i remember this punishment. *GEEZE DADDY, i think i got it already* (i thought, i didn't say it out loud, i am not that STUPID...LOL) i did try to pout my way out of the rest of my punishment, i layed on the sugar and spice, but obviously He had lost His hearing or sumpin' cause He was just not backing down! i was made to get on all fours on the bed (*make sure you push that butt out for Daddy*) *groans* i felt Daddy spread my *lil* bottom hole with His big finger and pour oil over my opening and work it all up inside. When He was satisfied with His stretching of my poor little hole, He reached over and picked a medium sized butt plug and i felt the tip of it invade me. *OH DADDIE PLEASE, I'LL BE YOUR GOOD GIRL* Please Daddie,don't put that in there! i squeezed my hole tight to prevent that evil thing from entering me! i heard Daddie sigh and He picked up the wooden hair brush and began spanking my already burning bottom! He was not fooling around! He layed on those spanks HARD and FAST! i was begging Him to stop and i even attempted to crawl away, which only got me in more trouble! now Daddie informed me that He must secure me to the bed! i was FRANTIC.......He took me in His arms and calmed me, kissing me and wiping my tears, but all the while assuring me that i WAS going to recieve the rest of my punishment. He piled some pillows in the middle of the bed and i laid over them while he tied me securely spread eagle to the four corners of our bed. He returned to my bottom hole, once again stretching me with His fingers and inserted that horrid plug into my bum! Warning me to make sure i held it there and to not let it slip or He would replace it with the larger one! *OH NOOOOOO* He reached for the wooden bath brush and began to slowly spank each of my chubby cheeks. i could hardly stand it! He covered every inch of my bottom and then focused on the back of my thighs. i was begging and promising to be His bestest girl ever, all the while holding on tight to that invasive plug in my bottom! He stopped and left the room, returning with a cup of ice, and soothed my bottom, how fast that ice melted on my searing behind.He told me my punishment was almost done, was i ready to be His good girl and behave like a good girl should? of course i agreed to NEVER misbehave again...(all fingers crossed LOL) the next thing i heard was the familiar sound of Daddies belt. the tears began falling before he even had it folded and raised. As that leather belt CRACKED across my wet (from the melted ice) backside, i began to feel my self slide into that sweet place that is known as subspace. i was barely aware of Daddy finishing and removing the plug and restraints. My body was glistening from sweat and my face was tear stained. Daddy gathered me up and wiped my face and nose. Kissing me and assuring me of His love. He laid me on the bed and gently massaged my welted bottom with aloe lotion to put out some of the fire. He gently covered me with a sheet and told me to sleep as he kissed me again. I slept the most peaceful of sleep! He returned with my favorite..Chinese Food..and fed me. We cuddled and watched the *Soprano's* on tape. And then before going to sleep we made the most incredible *Love* I LOVE YOU DADDY!
Yay!!!! The Weekend Cometh!!!!!
I am so HAPPY that the weekend is finally here! We will send the kids off to spend the night with their friends and we will have some *QUALITY* time together! I was so BRATTY last night! I hate when I just can not control it.....I feel guilty because I know I stressed *The Daddy* He had that look in His eye's...I know He really wanted to bare my bottom and paddle me right then and there, but He remained in control. He refuses to let me be in control of when and how i will be punished. Which is really how it should be. I think the most severe punishment i ever recieved was one of those days when the kids were all out, He led me out to the barn on our property. It was cold out and he made me bend over the chopping block with my jeans and panties around my ankles. i was made to take one leg out of my clothing, spread my legs wide apart and push my naked bottom out taut to meet the offending strap he was about to use. This was no ordinary wimpy strap. This was a strap that he uses at work, about 3 inches wide and heavy leather. The Daddy was in no hurry either, He was going to take His time and do the job *right*. Goosebumps were starting to form on my then pale silky cheeks from the cold air. That did not last for very long though. *winks* My tummy was doing flip flops as he ran His strap over my tush. Sliding it up and down my crack and over the chubby but firm mounds of flesh. Finally he stepped back and took His time finding His most comfortable angle He lifted the offending strap high and with a whoosh the first incredibly LOUD crack found its mark. The sting and the heat was unbelievable. I knew i should of remained in position, but i just could not help myself. i jumped up and grabbed my poor bottom (knowing how much worse it was going to be) and was doing the *Spanked Bottom Dance* jumping up and down, reaching my hands back to rub out some of the sting! He stood watching just shaking His head and firmly told me to get back into position. Adding that i just earned myself extra spanks. *owieeee* It was so hard to get myself back into position, already i was sorry for Bratting Him so much in the past week. What was i thinking???????????He patiently waited as i forced myself back over the block. He helped me spread my legs back to where He wanted them and reminded me to push that naughty, soon to be very sorry, bottom out as far as i could. i kept peeking over my shoulder and He ordered me to keep my eyes straight forward. i tried to be a good girl and take my spanking that i know i so deserved. i really did, and i did hold myself in position for what seemed like a really long time, as he spanked me thouroughly with that wicked strap. Daddy doesn't miss a spot. My bottom was on FIRE, i just couldn't stay in place. Once again i jumped up and was rubbing my poor bottom, this time with tears streaming down my face. *PLEASE DADDY* to my surprise He layed down the strap, i should of known i was not getting off that easy....LOL...He took me by the hand and said *Honey, you know you earned this* * You know the rules and you made the choice to break them* *I love you baby, but you will take the rest of your punishment* With that He rested His foot up on the block and pulled me over His bent knee. He spanked my now hot and red globes hard with His calloused Hand. All the while scolding me on my bad behavior. i was sobbing and my long black hair was sticking to my teared streaked face as He continued to rain hard, fast spanks on my poor very sore bottom. My mouth was dry and my throat was sore from howling upon each blow. The spanks began to slow and then He rubbed my heiny, reaching down and checking my pussy for wettness and teasing my swollen clit. *Ahhh, you really are Daddy's little whore" As i grinded my hips and pressed myself to His touch. *But you still have 10 more swats coming with the strap* *Daddy....Nooooooo.* i turned and gave Him my very best pouty face. *Sorry sweetie,you need to remember this the next time you think about being naughty* i knew i was not going to weasle my way out of it, so i got back in that dreaded position, fresh tears beginning to fall before even the first swat. Daddy gave me all ten swats like He promised, although He did let it slide when i just had to jump up and rub this time..i didn't get any extra's!!! Daddy inspected my bottom while i had to stand in the corner with my pants still down, He said my butt was glowing...(real funny Daddy!)after corner time and when i calmed down i had to get those jeans back up over my swollen butt. *Ouchie* and then i had to sit in the car while Daddy ran some errands. SITTING was not easy!!!!! i had to keep shifting back and forth and Daddy just smiled that evil smile! i was so happy to get back home and get those pants off and lie in my bed on my tummy! Daddy came in and rubbed my back and bottom until i fell into a deep restful sleep.I LOVE YOU DADDY
As I lay in bed last night looking into His sleeping face, I prayed that He would realize how badly i need a real discipline session. I have been holding back the urge to *Bratt* him. Because then He will withhold a spanking because He thinks i am topping from the bottom. What i have been needing, but too embarrassed to tell Him, is a spanking so severe that i will behave and do the right thing because i will fear another spanking like it. Don't misunderstand, He does discipline me, he has brought me to tears and full of *I promise i will be good* and i have had a very sore bottom. But this need that i have been having is different than before. I need to fear it, the spankings He has given me in the past have hurt and worked for short periods of time, and although while it was happening i was not liking the burning of my bottom, i still never *feared* being spanked. i want to be good, i want to do the right things, but i can not be that good girl without a severe reminder from Him. i need for Him to discipline me way beyond my limit. i need to fear another session like it if my behavior does not change. i find myself engaging in acts that could hurt myself and my marriage. All because i can't control my bratty urges. Crazy? maybe...yea, i guess i am.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Hello, I am new here!

Hello, I am new here so it will take me a little while to get started. I was writing in another site and I was starting to meet a lot of nice people but for some reason my computer just doesn't want to work right over there. I have checked out quite a few journals here and I have really enjoyed reading them. I hope to get to know some of you. Well...I am off to browse around and check things out further. I will be back soon and share some of my bratty adventures!
lynn